Memories
by DanRosa224
Summary: (A new, revised version of an old, uncompleted story on my old account). Those who kill themselves, are damned in the afterlife. They are made to be Shinigami until they redeem themselves. However, how is Grell to do that if he can't remember who he was? And who is this boy who seems to spark memories of the life lost to him? (Mainly set in HP Universe)
1. Silence

**Welcome my dear readers. This is a rewrite of a story I had started on my old account (golgothasTerror121). Whether or not this is your first time reading this, I, your humble narrator, will explain the premise of this story. This obviously differs greatly from the endings and story of both Harry Potter and Kuroshitsuji. To put it most simply, the race of the shinigami exist in the world of HP. Don't expect to see Ciel or Sebastian or other BB characters in this. Shinigami are those who have committed suicide and Harry Potter ends up becoming Grell Sutcliffe. How? Well you will find out soon enough. Other major changes from the cannon HP storyline will be revealed and explained as the story goes on. For now, please do enjoy!**

"Damn this silence." A man hissed under his breath. The night was eerily quiet, the occasional whispers of the wind being the only sound heard. It was these kind of nights that annoyed him to no end. It was all just too dull, too boring, and too peaceful. There was no distraction from the chaos in his head.

The current vision that played across his mind was one he didn't know what to make of it. A flash of bright green light and a muffled scream. It confused him to know end and caused him great pain on his forehead. He wished for something to happen. Anything would be good right now. Just something to help him forget. His thoughts were already closing in on him with the memories he wished would stay buried.

He flipped through his notebook once again, agitated to find that his next assignment wouldn't be for another hour. One mister Draco Malfoy will have a near fatal incident but must live for he is needed.

' _Boring'_ he thought. Not even a real death like he was hoping for. No beautiful blood was to be spilled. He read through the brief information listed near the picture, which gave him an odd feeling of familiarity (a feeling which he ironically was not familiar with). A wizard...son of a Death Eater… ended up good in the end… ugh boring boring boring. Hopefully after this kid he would get a brutal murder or maybe a car crash or something, anything exciting enough to keep out these damned memories.

You see, Shinigami were... particular creatures, for all of them were once human. But humans who commit suicide become Shinigami as punishment. Until the day they are 'redeemed', they are to work hard and continuously observe people's death. He was a very strange Shinigami for, unlike most Shinigami, had no recollection of his memories as a human. He was simply told to wait for his memories to return, and was given no further advice from his superiors about his problem. But how the hell was he supposed to redeem himself if he doesn't even know what he's redeeming himself for!?

Though it seemed as of lately, such as right now, he would get visions; faces and voices he can not recall, that he assumed were his memories. He was relieved at the time of the first vision, but as the visions continued, he could tell that his life was nothing but miserable. No wonder he killed himself. From what he gathered, his parents were dead, his guardians were abusive and he was treated as nothing more than some sort of freak. He wondered if he had any happy memories, but he highly doubted that. Although, all his memories were from ages 1 to about 9 or 10 so he couldn't be completely sure. Maybe he did get some happiness? He does know he killed himself at age 17 so there was about 7 or 8 years missing. He hoped to find out soon. He at least wanted to know his real name or even what he originally looked like. In his memories, his guardians referred to him as 'boy' and 'freak' and since he didn't remember his name when he first became a Shinigami, he was given a new one.

 _Grell Sutcliffe_

 **And that, will be it for this chapter. More content soon.**


	2. Familiar Faces

**Welcome back my friends, some of your curiosities may be answered in this chapter, although if the old ultra-violence doesn't sit too well in your gulliver then i wouldn't suggest reading any further than this. Although there is not too much of that in this chapter I can't be too certain for future ones.**

This hour of waiting seemed more like a century with the constant repeat of that light and scream but now the time has come. He looked eagerly around the alley, and finally he spotted the pale blonde that will soon be on death's door. He was only 19 but looked as if he's lived a lifetime. He was thin and pale, with grey shadows under his eyes and unkempt, shoulder length hair that strayed a bit in front of his eyes. The tired feeling surrounding him made it seems as though he was an old man. Much of his generation had that look though; living and even fighting in a war at such a young age could do that to you. However, in his eyes, this appearance did not seem right on this boy. He did not know why but he could feel a strange sense of something almost like remorse. No matter, this former Death Eater was now living a new life he'd never thought he live. Unsure of himself and now unlearning all he's been taught growing up. Turning a new leaf and is on his way to become a potions master. His creations would help many, making it a necessity that he stay alive.

Although this boy managed to grow, others were not so keen on moving on. Few Death Eaters were still around, trying and failing to keep power. Many upset with the Malfoy family for switching sides and escaping imprisonment. And so, that's what leads us here now.

He could see the man watching the boy from the shadows, waiting for his moment to strike. Grell allowed a grin to grow on his face, excited for the horrorshow to begin. The man pulled out his wand and with a word the boy was hit by a light and knocked down. Grell watched as the man casted spell after spell, not allowing the boy any time to get to his wand or even get up from the ground. Bruises and blood quickly took their places on the boy. Then, suddenly a noise came from nearby. It was probably nothing more than a stray but the man, fearing being caught, left quickly, likely assuming he'd done enough damage to leave the boy to die.

He watched the boy for a moment, a brief sense of something akin to concern hit him then left quickly, replaced by curiosity in such feelings. No matter, he had a job to do. Swooping down, he stood near the boy and took out his scythe and notebook. The boy was marked to lived but one must always review and double check. It was rare but one of those stiffs he calls bosses do make mistakes. He looked at the boy again, seeing the evident fear in his eyes and really, couldn't blame him. Seeing some man with an apparent chainsaw next to you is the last thing you wish to see after being attacked. Without a word he thrusted the chainsaw into his torso, allowing himself to be immersed in the boy's memories.

' _Boring Boring Boring'. Memory after memory swarmed him. Parents, School, "Friends"._

' _Bori- ooo what do we have here?' He could see in quite a few memories, three children. A lanky red-head boy, a bushy haired girl and a thin little darked- haired boy. They seemed to be rivals of sorts with Draco, picking on each other and arguing in most memories (although it was mainly Draco who instigated things). For whatever reason, he felt a sense of … joy? Rightness? Familiarity? Whatever the name, the feeling overwhelmed him. More memories came along and he wasn't sure which was his and which was Draco's anymore. Words and faces passed quickly, barely even giving him time to grasp what he was seeing and hearing. He quickly left the boy's records._

While trying to recover from the flood in his mind, he quickly left the body that he knew would soon be discovered and taken to the hospital. He lurked in the shadows, watching him. This boy, this _Draco Malfoy,_ shared something with him. Their memories, well of the few he had, had matched in some places. This boy knew him before he died.

' _Oh this is perfect'._ He once again allowed a grin to grace his face. _'I could get in trouble for this… oh but what the hell! I'll do it anyways'._ All he had to do was talk to this boy, maybe follow him around a bit then, voilà! He'd get everything he'd need to know. His next assignment wasn't for a long while, after all. He'd need something to occupy his free time, and Draco was it.


	3. Paranoia

**Hello again, my dear readers. I'm living in Houston, and my area is flooded and windy from Hurricane Harvey right now. After I upload this there might be two weeks until the next chapter instead of one because I'm focusing on helping my friends and neighbors that are more affected by it than I am. Not to mention my asthma gets triggered by the weather and so I need time to recuperate. All that really needs to be said for this chapter is that it is now in Draco's POV. Also that this is a bit short.**

It was a wonderful feeling, freedom. Nearly dying and then being confined to a hospital room for days was very unpleasant, to say the least. Although, things didn't seem quite right. Perhaps it was just a new found paranoia that came with being attacked, but he felt a strange sense of being watched. Everywhere he went, he felt as though he was not alone.

When his mind wasn't preoccupied with that, he thought back to the night of the attack, and the strange figure he swore he saw looming over him before his life flashed before his eyes. He shuddered at the memory of those piercing eyes and that sharped toothed smile. He shook his head and tried to clear his mind. Maybe some work would get his mind off of it. He had been working on a new potion; something very special, that he hoped he could pull off.

After the Battle of Hogwarts, he found himself isolated at first. However, after major repairs, school started again. He decided to go and finish his education and found that there was a newfound respect amongst all students regardless of house. There was even civility between and Potter's friends. After getting to reevaluate himself and his past, seeing his mistakes, he apologized to them. Of course, it wasn't taken very well at first but Luna, seeing the good in everyone, gave him a chance. He found he actually got along with her quite well. That led to a bit of a friendlier situation with Neville, and then Hermione and he was sorta frenemies(?) with Ron. It was a delicate relationship with all of them, but it was getting better.

He knew he could never excuse or make up for his past actions, but he could try and make sure the future was better. He felt guilt for everything he was associated with and decided to do something about it. With some help from Hermione, he had started to make potions to help those affected by the war. George helped, putting these potions in candies to sell at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

However, there were more who needed help. He knew about Neville's parents (and his aunt's involvement in that) and sought to help them and others like them. And do he worked and worked and worked. He felt he was getting very close to figuring out the right formula. And do he set himself to work more, hoping it would also help take that figure out of his mind.

A few hours later Draco woke up, having fallen asleep on his desk, to the same feeling of being watched. He stood and turned to leave his office only to encounter those same piercing eyes he feared.


	4. Discovery

**Hello! I have returned and I am sorta well again. College and interning are time-consuming, but I've managed to find some time to write! Heads up, this chapter is mostly dialogue and a bit of an info dump now that I look back at it, but hopefully, this will explain some things. Also, Italics mean thoughts.**

His heart leapt into his throat as he froze in place. He was sure he was still dreaming. He must be. Otherwise, how would one explain the… thing that stood before him. Those same inhuman eyes he saw before bore into him.

"Why hello there" the creature said, breaking the silence and walking towards him. He reached instinctively to grab his wand, only to find it gone from his desk.

"Looking for this?" holding Draco's wand, he smirked and moved in closer. "No need to be scared, I just want to chat". Draco finally found his voice and spoke.

"Who the hell are you". Despite an attempt to sound stern, the words came out with a stutter.

"I was hoping you could help me figure that out". Although still fearing this thing, his confusion outgrew his fear. Hesitantly, he asked

"What... do you mean by that?". The creature waited a moment before sighing and allowing his posture to relax a bit.

"Look, I'm not supposed to do this but… do you remember the night you were injured?". Draco hesitated again before stating

"You really were there weren't you?"

"Yes, I was. I am what you would call a Grim Reaper." That statement only brought about more confusion in Draco.

" _A_ Grim Reaper? Do you mean there is more than one?" _If this creature was a Grim Reaper, why had he seen him before? Didn't seeing one meant you were to die?_

"Yes, and my bosses would not approve of me being here right now so I'll make this quick." Grell took a deep breath before speaking "I used to be human, but people who killed themselves are punished by becoming grim reapers. To move on, you must "redeem" yourself but I don't remember who I was and consequently what I'm supposed to be redeeming myself for. I need to figure out who I was." The explanation was said so quickly, Draco almost didn't understand what he was saying.

"So… what the hell does that have to do with me?" This situation was growing stranger by the second.

"You had a bit of a 'near-death-experience' and during that, I was sent to look over your memories and your future to see if we needed you to live. However, some of your memories brought back some of mine. I must have known you before I died". Yup, definitely getting weirder.

"You don't look like anyone I've known" He still had hope that maybe this was a dream and prayed he would wake up soon. Or maybe this creature was confused and this was a mistake and this would be done and over with soon.

"Our appearances change in the afterlife so mortals don't recognize us if they happen to see us. Just think of anyone you know who killed themselves at age seventeen, about two years ago, but don't tell me. How we redeem ourselves is something we have to figure out ourselves or there's no redemption at all. I'm not sure, but I believe finding out who I am is part of that. Although there's nothing said about a little help getting on the right path." This time the long explanation almost did go unheard. An uneasiness sank into his stomach and he felt himself at a loss for words. Grell kept rambling, questioning himself about the rules, as Draco realized who he was possibly talking to. He desperately wished he was wrong.

He had never gotten a chance to apologize to _him_. The guilt had stayed with him these years he realized just how much _he_ gave up and that someone like himself lived while _he_ died. He had at least hoped that _he_ had found peace in the afterlife, but if this reapers ramblings were true, there was only one person he knew that this could be. But it can't. It must be a dream, please be a dream. He could not be here talking to whatever remained of Harry Potter.

As much as he tried to deny this realization, it was all he could think about. _If this is true, then... maybe helping him could be my way of making things right with him._ A part of him, despite the pain of knowing Potter had no peaceful afterlife, now wished the creature's ramblings true. Granger, the Weasleys, Longbottom and Luna could see him again. Potter was 'doing it for the greater good' when he killed himself, taking the last of Voldemort's soul with him, but he did so despite his friends begging him not to; he did it without warning and without a goodbye.

He was angry at Potter for a while for that, thinking it a selfish act. The war was basically over, he was a hero and had good friends that were practically family that needed him. The wizarding world was looking to their 'chosen one' for the hope that things would get better only to find their savior had killed himself. He found out that the others were searching for ways to destroy the Horcrux without killing him, but instead of waiting, Potter took matters into his own hands and committed suicide. The others blamed themselves for not watching him more carefully, or for not working hard enough or fast enough on a solution. _Damn Potter and his stupidity. He always did tend to be rash about things, not that I'm one to talk._ He was soon pulled from these thoughts, as Potter(?) turned his attention back to him.

"Well? Anything you can tell me? Hello, I'm talking to you!" Grell was quickly irritated when he realized Draco wasn't paying attention.

"Oh um…" He redirected his attention to the reaper "I-if you are who I think you are then… I would suggest visiting Hogwarts… it's a school for witches and wizards. You'll probably start to remember as you see… I hope."

"Hmmm, you don't seem very sure of yourself buuuut… Ah it can't hurt to check the place out!" Without a word the reaper was gone, leaving Draco alone with his thoughts. After a while, he decided that if anyone could help, Granger was the one to go to. The others will probably want to know about this as well...

 _I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do_


End file.
